Sunday, December 30, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday #25!

Well, hello, dears! I felt very Mrs. Doubtfire the way I said that. Are you all ready to sink the sub? Hide the weasel? Park the porpoise? A bit of the old Humpty Dumpty, Little Jack Horny, the Horizontal Mambo, hmm? The Bone Dancer, Rumpleforeskin, Baloney Bop, a bit of the old Cunning Linguistics? And I'll stop now. :D Today's excerpt is from a little story that's releasing in a couple weeks. It's called Cheapskates in Love, and I now have a blurb AND a cover to share with you!

Isn't it beautiful? I just love my cover. It's too perfect for the story. Here's the blurb! 

It’s couples' skating night down at the local rink and Elena Armstrong can’t seem to keep her cocky jock blind date around long enough to knee him in the balls. Sadly, she was too much of a cheapskate to pay for a membership to an online dating site and based everything on Leonard’s personality profile alone. Big mistake.

At the opposite end of the rink, Ben Kessel, another cheapskate on a blind date with Iris, the ice princess, is having a similarly miserable time. Elena, a hater of all things sports-related, inches out into the skating world butt-first and collides with Ben. After sharing their hilarious and horrifying dates-gone-wrong stories, the two disappear and make everything right again on the floor in the players’ dressing room. Almost everything. They forget to exchange numbers. Now these two cheapskates need to make the ultimate sacrifice: pay for a membership to the online dating site so they can track ea
ch other down. But is the possibility of love really worth the price of $24.95 per month? 

Ready for an excerpt? Okay!

Hey, uh, what’s your last name?”


Kessel. Elena Kessel. Mmm, that has a nice ring to it.

You still there?”

She grinned and said in a seductive voice, “I wanna kessel all over you.”

I wanna kessel all over him too. :D Hope you enjoyed! My Cheapskates are now on Goodreads! If you'd like to add it to your TBR list, click here

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday #24!

Season's Greetings, my darlings! Thank you for stopping by! I'm going to keep this short and sweet since I'm a teensy bit behind on all my festive preparations. Here are another six (maybe seven...or eleven) sentences from my WIP called Love Notes. I'm continuing the scene from last week, where I introduced Sam, our hero, high school music teacher, and my fictional boyfriend. :D

Dropping his briefcase on the front desk, he stretched his shoulders and admired the room that so many otherwise condemned. “Good morning, everyone!” he called over the jumble of noise. Within moments, lips were sealed, instruments were silenced, and all eyes were focused on Sam.

“You guys are getting pretty good at that,” he complimented, smirking. “Our spring concert is quickly approaching so I’d like to spend the majority of this period working on our—”

A hand shot up from the back row. “Mr. Jacobson?”

“Yes, Darryl?” he answered patiently.

“Is it bad if you drop a pencil into a tuba?”

Sam attempted to speak over the giggles that sprinkled the air. “Worse things have happened.”

Wishing you all a safe and happy holiday! Cheers! :)

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday #23!

Happy, happy Sunday, my friends! Thanks for stopping by during this busy holiday season! :) Over the last few weeks I've been sharing bits and pieces from the novel I'm working on called Love Notes. So now you all know a little more about my heroine, Janelle Webber, and her quirky friends. But I think it's only right I introduce you to my hero too. His name is Sam Jacobson, a slightly nerdy and terribly sweet high school music teacher who I have a gigantic crush on. 

Sam’s smile widened when his eyes landed on room 102. The squeaks and squawks of unseasoned musicians greeted him long before. Thick wooden shelves wrapped around the perimeter of the room, containing case after case of instruments. Music stands screeched against the floor. A cowbell clanged followed by sparks of laughter. The low blast of an out-of-tune tuba reverberated.

Sam took a deep breath, inhaling the musty scent of velvet from the instrument cases and the sharp tang of valve oil. It was strangely comforting.

Isn't he cute? :D I love my Sam. Okay, so that's all for now. Hope you have a wonderful day and tune in next week! 

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Online Dating 101 - Special Edition

My friends! Helloooooo! Hope you're all doing well! Normally I have a guest blogger on Wednesdays to share their own personal online dating story, but today I'm my own guest! You're totally allowed to do that. I didn't see any rules against it in the blogger handbook. I'm my guest, I'm my guest! Put my service to the test! Sorry, I got a little carried away there. Do you have any idea of the significance of this day?! It's 12/12/12! *dances*

Some of you may be going, "Yeah, I guess that's kind of cool and stuff, but we had one of those in November last year with the 11/11/11." To you I say, "Good point, but 11 is not 12, and 12 happens to be my most favourite number in the entire world!" :D

It all stems back to my early days of playing soccer. The year was 1998. I tried out and made the rep soccer team for my local city, and I was ecstatic. I prayed I'd get the number 7 on my jersey, but wouldn't you know it. That was the coach's daughter's number. Instead, I was handed 12. It meant nothing to me then. 

Somehow that number turned out to be magical for me. It helped to earn me the nickname 'animal' on the field. I was the central defender, the last line of defense before the goalie. I ate more dirt that season than a two-year-old turned loose in a sandbox. I was a slide-tackling champion. No one could get past me, and if they did, they'd live to regret it. Number 12 and I bonded that year, my friends, and we've been inseparable ever since. 

Which brings us back to today and the whole point of this blog. Over the years, 12 has continued to be good to me. So when I dream, as I often do, about my future wedding, the date is always 12/12/12. *looks at calendar* *shrugs* Yeah, there's not going to be a ceremony for me today, unless you call the spastic dancing I plan to do at 12:12 a ceremony of the disturbed. I can accept and appreciate that now is not the time for me to be married. Okay, so I'm kind of hoping a really cute, really tall guy with curly hair, baby blue eyes, and the hottest running shoes evah will knock on my door in the next twelve minutes and propose to me, but that probably won't happen. Now is not the time. Mr. Right is out there for me, I know, but today is not my wedding day, as badly as I want it to be. 

Let me tell you what else I know. I know that I found a really cool guy on eHarmony. I call him Mr. Rube Goldberg because he builds these things called Rube Goldberg machines for a living. If you're scratching your head, it's okay. I totally did too. I'll show you what one looks like in two seconds and recognition will dawn. One-one-thousand, two-one-thousand.... 

Okay, here's his latest creation: Goldberg vs Newton

I always make fun of him and call his machines something other than what they are. I say, "How's that spaceship coming along?" "What's new with your death star?" "Any closer to finishing the world's biggest bouncy castle?" "How about that giant robot you've been working on?" "Hey, good luck with your Rubik's cube." I think it amuses him for the most part. ;)

We talk all the time on facebook. Yeah, we've moved BEYOND eHarmony. That's how cool we are. And he's this guy who can build these insanely amazing things, AND he's funny. He cracks me up constantly. I think he might be the most interesting man in the world. Mr. Rube Goldberg and I haven't yet met, but we have plans to in the very near future. He may not be THE guy for me, but he's A guy, and he's awesome, and I really can't wait to meet him and talk a little more in depth about his solar systems...or whatever the hell they are. :P

So yeah. I'm just a girl, looking for a guy to marry me someday. It doesn't have to be today, but I know something magical is bound to happen today no matter what. :) It's the power of 12! So go forth and enjoy the day! 

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday #22!

Hiiiiiiiiiiiii! Hi! Um, hi! :D Thanks for coming! Would you care for a festive snack? I've got gingerbread cookies, eggnog, and candy cane chocolate crackle ice cream. Oh, I also have six more sentences to share from my story, Love Notes! It's the novel I've been workin' on, and I'm no closer to being able to explain it. Well, that's not entirely true. Perhaps I can sum it up with this: Janelle is a woman in love with a man she's never met, never seen, and never touched. But she hears him, and when she does, butterflies swarm her stomach. And she can smell him--a rich and tangy masculine scent that makes her ache with need. And when he sings to her, he fills her soul with purpose. How's that for a teaser? ;)

Now, since you've all been getting such a kick out of it, I decided to continue the same scene as the last two weeks. In case you missed the party, I'll set the stage for you. We've got Janelle, a dental hygienist, cleaning her best friend Teri's teeth. Teri has a slight problem distinguishing the proper way to use an electric toothbrush. Here's a link to the last two excerpts if you want to catch up: One and Two

“But I do love you, and I love your teeth, so I’m going to give you another electric toothbrush for your teeth only.” She laughed. “I shouldn’t even have to say that.”

“If only they had the same warning on the box.” Teri sighed.

Another giggle broke free. “Deal?”

“Deal,” Teri surrendered, opening wide.

Hope you enjoyed! :D Happy Sunday, everyone! 

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday #21!

Hewwwohhh! :D Welcome to my blog! I'm gonna tell you a secret about me: I love to make people laugh! Okay, so that's maybe not a secret. For those who have been here before (and thank you for your continued visits!), I'm sure you've noticed my six sentences tend to either fall into the hot and steamy category, the silly/quirky category, or a combination of the two. And today's excerpt is no different. It's a continuation of the scene I shared last week. I'm writing a novel, my friends. One that's so unique I haven't yet been able to think of a way to explain it to people. However, I can tell you it's called Love Notes, and I can also tell you that this scene features Janelle, our heroine and dental hygienist, and Teri, one of her best friends who just admitted to using an electric toothbrush to satisfy other, um . . . oral needs. :D Enjoy! 

“Teri,” Janelle said somberly, turning back to her friend, “you need to get laid.”

“I don’t know,” Teri murmured, still chuckling. “My Oral-B and I are pretty happy.”

Janelle snorted again.

“Actually, I’ve been thinking about having a lusty affair with Sonicare.”

“You’re nuts,” she told her, gesturing for her to open her mouth again.

Hope you liked! :) Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful day!